everything good makes you fat an addict or broke
Taking pictures of some of my roommate’s snakes today. This is Ebony, a Mexican Black Kingsnake (Lampropeltis getula nigrita).
procrastination is my only talent
*announces my pregnancy at your funeral to shift the attention around to me*
- me: *walks into a restaurant wearing all black and smudged eyeliner*
- me: *says "please" 800 times and smiles at small children*
date someone who uses their turn signal
I love to hear him whisper “Fuck” or “Shit” when I throw it back.
i love to hear her moan yes and don’t stop, while I’m strokin
I love to hear them say praise The Lord and thank you Jesus while We in church
Nicki Minaj selfies 09 | 28 | 2014
if you spell skeletons backwards it still spells skeletons
Man I can’t wait for Halloween to see some snoteleks